Many of us instinctively say “Good job!” with a thumbs-up whenever a young child accomplishes something new. It’s a common reflex – whether a toddler stacks a tower of blocks or a preschooler draws a picture, we want to praise them enthusiastically.
However, if you step into a Montessori classroom, you might notice that teachers rarely use the phrase “good job” at all. In Montessori education, this isn’t an oversight or a lack of warmth; it’s a deliberate choice rooted in a unique philosophy of encouraging children’s intrinsic motivation and self-esteem.
In many settings, adults give a quick “good job” and a thumbs-up for every small achievement. Montessori takes a different approach to praise, focusing on the child’s internal satisfaction rather than external approval.
Montessori Philosophy on Praise and Motivation
Montessori classrooms are guided by the principle that children thrive on intrinsic motivation rather than external rewards or praise. Dr. Maria Montessori herself emphasized that in her schools there should be “no punishment or reward… to interfere with the joy in the work itself. The only reward is in the completion of the work”. In other words, the act of learning or achieving something is its own reward. Montessori educators want children to find satisfaction in their own efforts – to feel proud because they mastered a skill, not because an adult approved.
Saying “good job” may seem positive, but Montessorians view it as an external judgment being placed on the child’s work. Even a well-meant praise labels the outcome as “good” (and by implication, could have been “bad”), turning the adult into the judge of the child’s performance. Montessori teachers avoid this for a crucial reason: they don’t want children to constantly seek adult approval or base their sense of achievement on pleasing others. The goal is for the child to ask “How do I feel about what I did?” rather than “Did the teacher think I did well?”. If we place a label like “good” or “bad” on everything a child does, their work suddenly becomes about us (the adults) and what we think, instead of about the child’s own effort and curiosity. Montessori philosophy instead encourages children to reflect on their own accomplishments and take ownership of their achievements.
The Problem with Saying “Good Job”
When children become accustomed to hearing “good job” for every little thing, they can develop a dependence on this kind of praise. Research in educational psychology has shown that frequent generic praise can turn kids into “praise junkies” – they start relying on external validation for confidence, rather than developing an internal sense of pride. Alfie Kohn, an expert on parenting and education, points out that “Good job!” doesn’t reassure children; ultimately, it makes them feel less secure” and can even create a cycle where the more we praise, the more the child seeks praise. Children might begin to measure their worth by whether an adult says “good job”, instead of judging success by their own standards.
Over-reliance on praise can also undermine persistence and interest. Studies by psychologist Carol Dweck have found that when children are praised solely for being “smart” or for the end result, they become more afraid of failure and less likely to take on challenges. In contrast, children who are encouraged for their effort and process show more persistence and enjoyment in tasks, even when things get difficult. This aligns with the Montessori approach: by not fixating on praising the outcome (“You’re so good at that!”), Montessori educators help children focus on the process of learning. The result is that children develop a growth mindset – a belief that they can improve through effort and practice – rather than feeling their ability is fixed or only confirmed by adult praise.
Moreover, external praise can inadvertently dampen a child’s genuine interest in an activity. Imagine a child who loves drawing: if every drawing earns a “Good job!” and a sticker, the child might start drawing just to get praise or rewards, rather than for the joy of art. In fact, research shows that the more we reward people for doing something, the less they tend to intrinsically enjoy it or continue it once the reward is removed. One study even found that young children who were frequently praised for being generous (hearing comments like “I’m so proud of you for sharing!”) became less likely to share when the praise wasn’t given. They had started to see “being kind” as a means to get praise, rather than something rewarding in itself, and when the praise stopped, so did some of the generosity. This is exactly what Montessori strives to avoid: we want children to help a friend or choose challenging work because it fulfills them, not because they’re seeking a pat on the back.
Another issue is that a constant stream of “good jobs” can steal a child’s pleasure in their own accomplishments. Every time we immediately judge what they’ve done, we’re subtly telling them how to feel. A child deserves the chance to pause and feel proud on their own. Montessori teachers often notice that given a moment, a child will smile with pride and say “I did it!” – a far more powerful realization than looking to an adult for validation. By not rushing in with “good job,” we let the child own that success and enjoy their personal pride without immediately seeking our approval.
Fostering Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Confidence
Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it is inherently satisfying, not for an external reward. Montessori education places a huge emphasis on this. In a Montessori classroom, children choose activities that interest them – from washing a table to building a puzzle – and their reward is the enjoyment and mastery of the activity itself. When teachers refrain from constant praise, children learn to listen to their own internal voice: “I’m proud of what I did because I worked hard and achieved it,” rather than “It’s good because the teacher said so.” This nurtures a strong sense of independence and self-confidence. The child learns to evaluate their work: Do I like how this turned out? Did I improve? – skills that are crucial for lifelong learning.
By avoiding phrases like “good job,” Montessori educators encourage children to self-reflect and self-assess, building their ability to recognize what they did well and what they might do differently next time. This approach empowers kids to trust their own judgment and be less afraid of making mistakes. They realize that their worth isn’t tied to constant praise or hitting every goal on the first try. Instead, mistakes are seen as learning opportunities and all efforts are valued. Children develop what Montessori schools call unconditional self-worth – knowing they are valued for who they are and for their growth, not just for collecting gold stars or praise words.
Over time, this internal drive produces children who are naturally curious, resilient, and motivated. They take pride in personal progress (say, gradually learning to tie their own shoelaces or solve a tricky math problem) and they approach new challenges with enthusiasm. In Montessori, the absence of “good job” doesn’t mean children lack encouragement – they are encouraged differently, in a way that builds a lifelong love of learning. They learn to welcome challenges and feel confident that trying hard is how they succeed, rather than feeling only as good as the last praise they received.
What Montessori Teachers Say Instead of “Good Job”
If teachers don’t say “good job,” how do they respond when a child does something great or seeks acknowledgment? Montessori educators use alternative phrases and strategies that support the child without overtly judging their work. Here are some examples of what you might hear in a Montessori environment:
Descriptive Praise
Instead of evaluating with “good/bad,” teachers comment on what they observe. For example: “I see you drew a lot of blue swirls in your painting,” or “You built that tower all by yourself up to 10 blocks high!” This kind of statement acknowledges the child’s work specifically without labeling it. It helps the child recognize what they did and often opens the door for them to talk about it. With artwork, a Montessori teacher might say, “You painted the entire paper green!”, focusing on the process and effort. Such feedback shows the child that we noticed their effort or creativity, not that we are sitting in judgment of it.
Acknowledging Effort or Progress
You’ll frequently hear Montessori teachers say things like “You worked really hard on that” or “You kept trying even when it was tricky”. By highlighting effort, perseverance, and concentration, the adult reinforces the child’s process rather than the end product. For instance, “You practiced that song every day, and now you can play it all the way through!” This tells the child that their hard work paid off – a much more empowering message than a generic compliment.
Simple Acknowledgment (Without Evaluation)
One of the favorite go-to phrases is “You did it!”. These three words, said warmly and with a smile, convey recognition without any judgment attached. If a child zips their coat after struggling, a teacher might simply smile and say, “You did it. You zipped your coat by yourself.” This lets the child bask in their own accomplishment – often you’ll see the child beaming with pride, thinking “Yes, I did do it!” – which fuels their confidence to take on the next challenge. “You did it” encapsulates acknowledgment, encouragement, and validation, all without turning the adult into the approver of “goodness”.
Inviting Reflection
Montessori educators often ask children questions about their work instead of immediately praising. For example, if a child shows a finished puzzle, a teacher might respond, “What was the most fun part of doing this puzzle?” or “Which part was the hardest?”. If a child presents a drawing, the teacher could ask, “Can you tell me about your picture?” This approach shows genuine interest and gets the child talking about their experience, thereby reinforcing that their opinion and enjoyment of the activity matter most. It encourages children to think and express what they liked or learned, which in turn makes them more self-aware learners.
Expressing Appreciation
When a child helps or shows kindness, Montessorians respond with thanks or by noting the impact of the child’s action, rather than saying “good girl/boy.” For instance: “Thank you for helping your friend clean up, that really makes our classroom nice for everyone”, or “That was kind of you to share your snack with your brother.” This way, the child gets feedback that their action was noticed and appreciated, while also learning why it was positive (it helped someone, it was kind) without being labeled good or bad. It connects their behavior to real outcomes and feelings, rather than to the abstract idea of adult approval.
Non-Verbal Encouragement
Sometimes the best response is a smile and nothing more. Montessori teachers carefully observe when a child is deeply focused and may choose not to interrupt with any comment at all. A warm smile, a nod, or simply being present can reassure a child that you’ve noticed them, without breaking their concentration or turning their attention outward. If a child glances over looking for acknowledgment, a simple smile or thumbs-up (without words) can suffice. This approach respects the child’s engagement and lets them stay immersed in their activity.
By using these strategies, Montessori educators encourage children in a respectful and thoughtful way. The child still feels seen, supported, and valued – but the emphasis is on what the child did rather than on the adult’s praise. Over time, children internalize that sense of accomplishment. They might start saying “I did it!” on their own or feeling proud without needing anyone else to tell them the work was good.
Adopting the Montessori Approach at Home
For parents, especially if you’re new to Montessori, it can be challenging to break the habit of saying “Good job!” (We’ve all done it – it feels almost automatic.) Don’t be too hard on yourself if you catch yourself praising in the old way. The idea isn’t to eliminate every instance of praise or to become robotic. Rather, Montessori encourages us to be mindful of how we praise. Here are a few tips if you want to try this at home:
Start by noticing your praise habits
You might begin by simply observing how often you say “good job” in a day. One Montessori teacher suggests a fun game: put a few coins or paperclips in your pocket in the morning, and each time you say “good job,” move one to the other pocket. See how many are left by day’s end. This isn’t to make you feel guilty – it’s just a way to become more aware. You’ll likely be surprised how often we all use praise as a default encouragement.
Replace “Good job” with neutral acknowledgments or observations
Instead of “Good job cleaning your room,” try something like “I see you put all your toys on the shelf and made your bed. It must feel nice to have a tidy room!” This shifts the focus to the child’s action and the resulting benefit, rather than your evaluation of it. Or simply say, “Thank you for cleaning up, it really helps our family”, which shows appreciation without a judgment.
Ask questions to open a conversation
If your child shows you something they did, resist the reflex to immediately evaluate it. Instead, you can ask, “Wow, you built a big tower! How did you figure out how to make it so tall?” or “Did you have fun making that drawing?” Questions like these invite your child to share their experience and feelings. You might be delighted by how proudly they explain their process or what part they liked best. This also teaches them to articulate what they’ve learned or enjoyed.
Focus on effort and improvement
Make comments that highlight how far they’ve come: “Yesterday that puzzle was really hard, and today you did the whole thing. You kept trying!” or “I noticed you practiced your letters a long time – look at how neatly you wrote your name now.” Such remarks reinforce a growth mindset, showing your child that you value their effort and progress more than just the end result.
Be genuine and specific
Children can tell the difference between empty praise and real interest. Instead of over-the-top exclamations for every small thing, save your enthusiastic applause for when they truly put in great effort or achieve something big for them. And even then, try phrasing it in terms of their pride: “You must feel so proud of yourself!” or “I am really happy for you because I saw how hard you worked on that”. This way, you share in their joy without making it about making you happy.
By gradually using these approaches, many parents find that their children become more self-sufficient and confident. You might notice your child running to show you something they did, with a grin and the words “Look, I did it!” before you even say a thing. That moment is golden – it means they are proud of themselves, which is exactly what we want to cultivate.
Conclusion: A Different Kind of “Good Job”
Choosing not to say “good job” in Montessori is not about withholding praise or being cold – it’s about offering a deeper form of encouragement. Montessori educators replace the quick sugar rush of “Good job!” with strategies that build a child’s inner strength and love of learning. By focusing on effort, progress, and the child’s own satisfaction, we help them develop resilience and motivation that will serve them far beyond preschool. Children learn to navigate the world with confidence in their abilities and a willingness to try, fail, and try again – without needing a pat on the back at every turn.
For parents and teachers, this approach might take some practice, but it is immensely rewarding. When you see your child decide to tackle a challenge for the sheer joy of it, or beam with pride at their own accomplishment, you’ll understand the power behind the Montessori way of encouragement. In Montessori, the ultimate goal is a child who says “I did it!” with a smile – and doesn’t need anyone else to tell them that they did a good job.